Foster Care/ Adoption issues

Many years ago we tried to get help with our adopted kids. DHS was no help- Federal help said "it is up to your state" Our kids did fail byut not due to their parents!!!! One is in prison now- the judge in our case ( Judge Albee) did agree we had done "a herucalan effort " in trying to help our kids. We fought the court system until something was done. ( shouldn't have to be this hard) Went thru lots of testing all about our parenting - personalities etc- all to what end???? $$$$$ from the state. Stupid but we do realize some parents are guilty of poor parenting + more but the state of Iowa should have known better. Our lives were ruined & does the state care? no. Everyone who is thinking of adoption I tell our story to. Broken hearts , smashed in walls, urinating where one would never ( inside a wall) tore up closets, birds died for no reason, 2 dogs kicked in the head on purpose, numerous rages,stealing from Mom, lying,-- while all the time showing no remorse or no conscience. No love from them- plenty from us . One therapist put it succinctly "you are just their caregivers." But those two boys had been abused, neglected & abandoned. Shame on Iowa for not doing better & for passing the proverbial buck. Who knows if those kids ( now adults) will ever get over their trauma? That's the important question- we are adults & no longer have PTSD/ Depression from blame, from death threats ( our kids) or from the boys trying to kill each other.... there vis so much more to this story..................Mrs Rory ( Theresa) Thoma- adopted parents of Michael & Brandon.