A New View of Civil Liberties and Marriage

"If people really want to support heterosexual marriage then allow gay people to marry one another, not to have to lie to themselves and marry into your "traditional" marriage in order to have a home and family. I speak from experience here. My husband and I met and fell in love 41 years ago at a christian university. We knew that he had struggled with "gay" feelings in the past but we were in love and our religion told us that through prayer everything would be fine. In fact it is fine now but in a much different way, a much rockier way than we ever dreamed. There were many, many good times along the way but there was also much pain and heart ache as we struggled to understand and work things out. We have a bright, beautiful, loving daughter together and we are still married legally although Tim has a partner with whom he is very happy. (I have used Tim's name here because he has given me permission but I have not spoken with his partner yet so I am not using his name.)Tim is a good man and a good father, he and his partner completely support me financially since I am unable to work. When I had to travel recently for medical treatments they opened their home for me to stay over night because the trip was too tiring for me. When our daughter, who had made the arrangements, thanked her Dad's partner he just said, "of course. we're all family". We all visit and celebrate milestones together.My family still considers Tim a part of it and welcomes his partner.We worked hard at this so that our daughter would not have to split holidays and so that everyone would be comfortable. Is this the way as a young bride I envisioned my one day family? Absolutely not! Did we all work hard to get here? Yes, absolutely! But speaking for myself, I could never have imagined that my heart could stretch to this capacity to love. I would never have pictured my family to be this configuration, but it is and within it there is laughter and joy and love. We are happy.And although to quote an old old song, "I wouldn't take nothin' for my journey now", I would love to save others both gay and straight some of the heart ache we all endured. Every day there are young people trying to pretend to be something they are not just to fit in, to be accepted, to have the same things and rights that others have. Allow them those rights, afford them that dignity so that they can proudly partner and not marrry wrongly and have to tear a marriage apart later as the truth becomes evident. If this is still too difficult for you then retain the right to bless and sanctify whatever unions you see fit within your individual churches but allow equal civil rights to one and all' And while I'm here lets expand our ideas of family to those that love and respect each other, your hearts will thank you. That's it for me, I'm off my soap box, Goodnight all."
-Cynthia Tinnin