Could You Maybe, Possibly Stop Killing Us?

If it's not too much trouble, could you sign this petition to ask your government to maybe, possibly, stop killing us with your death machines? I mean, we know our lives aren't as important as gay marriage or whatever dumb words Sarah Palin said, but we'd really be happy if you could stop murdering us. So, please sign our petition, and let the president know we don't like it. Unless, of course, you're busy mocking Fox News or some reality show is on.
Thank you,
The people of Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, and other places with funny foreign sounding names.