To: Mathew Inman, The Oatmeal and President Donald Trump

Transition the federal Columbus Day holiday to Bartolomé Day

Given that most educated Americans feel intense shame and disgust at celebrating a federal holiday in honor of a sociopathic, mass-murdering, slave-trading pederast, let's finally get rid of Columbus Day and replace it with Bartolomé Day. We need good role models and a renewed emphasis on historical accuracy; let's help set the record straight while celebrating someone worthy of a holiday: Bartolomé de las Casas.

Why is this important?

Over the past several decades, the old and laughably inaccurate "facts" surrounding Christopher Columbus have gradually given way to historical truth. Many Americans now have a keen awareness of the motives and methods he employed, in the name of Spain, to dehumanize and violate the innocent. His greed-driven campaign to leverage genocide into wealth was the keystone to the entire Atlantic Slave Trade, indirectly resulting in the slaughter of millions of diverse African and Native American peoples, followed by their enslavement and cultural marginalization. He was personally and directly responsible for atrocities that would horrify any modern war-crimes tribunal.
His actions were so vile that they inspired Bartolomé de las Casas to renounce his own wealth, adopt a position of service to humanity, and take up arms against the evils which would soon dominate the gestalt of global imperialism for the next five-hundred years.
We find Columbus to be a disgraceful figure, unfit to represent who we claim to be, as a nation. Retaining such an association makes us fools on the world stage, and worse, lowers us as liars to ourselves, our children, and our ancestors. We could use a new role model, someone worthy of our focus and celebration. Someone like Bartolomé de las Casas.
Please don't make us explain to future generations why we continue to laud a monster like Columbus, while we willingly ignore a hero like Bartolomé. Casting aside the triumph and compassion of our history cheapens it beyond measure. We should be proud to Americans, not ashamed of it, but keeping some two-bit biggot up on a federal pedestal certainly does not help. Let us change this. Please.