To: The NFL (Roger Goodell, Commissioner), Jay-Z & Roc Nation , Pepsi & Apple Music
Weird Al: The Halftime Show America Needs!
Petition: Give America the Super Bowl Halftime Show It Deserves – Weird Al Yankovic for 2026!
Dear NFL, Jay-Z, Roc Nation, Apple Music, and everyone with the power to make history,
It’s time to right a historic wrong. Year after year, the Super Bowl Halftime Show delivers high-energy performances from the biggest names in music—but it’s missing one key ingredient: "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Think about it: Weird Al has been parodying, remixing, and downright improving pop music for over four decades. He’s outlasted most of the artists he’s lampooned. He’s performed with legends, has multiple Grammy Awards, and—unlike many past halftime acts—he actually sounds amazing live. Plus, he has something no other Super Bowl Halftime Show has had: the power of polka.
The Case for Weird Al:
- He’s a National Treasure. America loves him. Kids, parents, grandparents—everyone knows a Weird Al song. He’s the most family-friendly act who can still keep things wild.
- Genre? He’s Got All of Them. Rock? Check. Pop? Check. Hip-hop? Been there. Country? You know it. Polka? Duh. You want variety? Weird Al can headline his own halftime show and open for himself five times.
- No One Else Can Medley Like Al. The Super Bowl loves mashups. Imagine Al seamlessly flowing from "Eat It" into "Amish Paradise" into "Like a Surgeon" into "White & Nerdy"—all while leading a massive polka dance breakdown.
- He’s Been Preparing for This Moment His Whole Life. He’s parodied every major Super Bowl-worthy act: Michael Jackson, Madonna, Nirvana, Lady Gaga, Eminem, Queen, and even Coolio (RIP). And if Taylor Swift is worried about Travis Kelce being overshadowed, Al will happily whip up a parody to fix that, too.
- He Deserves It. Every year, the same predictable lineup: a pop star, a classic rock band, a rapper, or some combination of the three. It's time for something fresh. It's time for the GOAT of parody, the king of the accordion, the man who made “My Bologna” a banger.
What Would a Weird Al Super Bowl Look Like?
Picture this:
- The lights go out. The stadium goes silent. Suddenly, an accordion riff echoes through the arena.
- Al rises from the stage in full Amish Paradise gear, backed by a choir of NFL referees singing in perfect harmony.
- A twenty-foot-tall Twinkie Wiener Sandwich descends from the rafters.
- Surprise guest appearances: Jack Black? Yes. Foo Fighters? Probably. Madonna showing up in a surgeon’s outfit? Why not?
- A giant polka-fied remix of past halftime performers (Beyoncé, Prince, U2) ending with a stadium-wide "Yoda" sing-along.
- The grand finale: Al, in a shimmering accordion suit, skydiving into the end zone while shredding a face-melting solo.
Let’s be honest—this would be the greatest Super Bowl Halftime Show of all time.
Sign This Petition and Make History!
We, the undersigned, demand that the NFL and its halftime overlords do the right thing and give America the Weird Al Halftime Show it so desperately needs. We have had enough of the same old pop stars. It’s time for a show that celebrates music, humor, and the undeniable power of the accordion.
Sign now. For America. For polka. For Al.
Why is this important?
Why This Is Important: A Message to the World
This isn’t just about the Super Bowl Halftime Show. This is about the future of humanity.
For too long, we’ve endured predictable, uninspired halftime shows. Year after year, we sit on our couches, surrounded by nachos and disappointment, as yet another pop star prances around in leather, fireworks go off, and some confused backup dancer trips over a stage prop. Is this really the best we can do?
Meanwhile, in the shadows, one man has been waiting. Watching. Biding his time. That man is Weird Al Yankovic.
And here’s the truth: Weird Al can save us all.
How Weird Al Can Save Lives (And Possibly Cure Cancer)
- He Can Heal the Divided Nation. Nothing unites people quite like Weird Al. Left, right, young, old—everyone can belt out "White & Nerdy" or "Amish Paradise" in perfect unison. If we put Al on that stage, bipartisanship will be restored overnight. Congress might actually start working together. There could be peace in the world.
- Laughter is Medicine. Ever heard that "laughter is the best medicine"? Well, Weird Al is basically a walking, accordion-playing cure for everything. If we flood the world with enough Weird Al joy, who’s to say it won’t spontaneously cure a few ailments along the way? We’re not saying it’s definitely a cancer cure, but has anyone scientifically proven that a halftime show starring Weird Al wouldn’t eliminate cancer? Didn’t think so.
- The Youth Need Weird Al. Kids today are glued to their screens, watching TikTok trends with no soul. They don’t even know what a parody song is. This is a tragedy. Giving them Weird Al at the Super Bowl could restore faith in real entertainment.
- It Would Save Football Fans from Another Generic Show. Every year, millions of football fans sit through a halftime show they don’t care about, waiting for the game to come back. But if Weird Al took the stage? Those same fans would drop their wings in awe, spill their beers in delight, and cry tears of polka-induced joy.
The Prophecy Must Be Fulfilled
Weird Al has been preparing for this moment for decades. Look at his career. The signs have always been there. He has parodied almost every major halftime act before they even knew they were destined for that stage. It’s like a musical prophecy written in accordion tabs.
We, the people, refuse to ignore fate.
Weird Al Yankovic is not just an artist. He is a beacon of joy, a wizard of wit, a titan of tunes. His Super Bowl performance could very well be the moment that changes the course of human history.
Sign Now—For the Future!
By signing this petition, you are not just advocating for the best halftime show in history. You are actively making the world a better place. You are standing for humor, creativity, and the undeniable power of an accordion solo.
This is your chance to be on the right side of history. Don’t wake up the day after the Super Bowl wondering what could have been. Sign now. Spread the word. Save humanity.